“The mark of a wild heart is living out the paradox of love in our lives. It's the ability to be tough and tender, excited and scared, brave and afraid -- all in the same moment. It's showing up in our vulnerability and our courage, being both fierce and kind.” - Brené Brown
Why does love need to be fierce?
Shame can end up running the show when life beats us down. To love with ferocity is to love and care even when it is hard. Especially for your own body and heart. And the deepest gift of fierce love is the ability to be kind to ourselves.
This picture was taken days after my youngest son was born. That was over five years ago.
I was tired. I was elated. And my body was suffering. A lot.
Fierce love is not easy.
Everyone told me to take care of myself so I could take care of my baby (and three other kids!). The old "put your oxygen mask on first" thing. Yes, my baby was getting plenty of love- but it felt terrible to let go.
What I needed was a stern look in the face of one I trusted to tell me...go lay down and rest. I've got you.
Even now, I need this radical fierce love more than ever, a presence that will come pat my back and say:
"It’s ok. Listen to your heart and your body, my dear. There, There..."
Do you find yourself wishing you could get to your workouts more? Wishing you would go to bed earlier? Wishing you had more discipline? Wishing you were better at saying no? Wishing you didn't forget things so often? Wishing you didn't feel so embarrassed by something about your body?
Shame tells us we are failing somehow.
But rather than falling into the shame spiral, we need an enormous dose of kindness to pour through us like a river to wash away our stubborn negative patterns of thinking & feeling and instead honor our needs.
We ALSO must have a bright light to shine on us to put our deepest desires back in the spotlight- reminding us that the care of our body and soul is worth the fight.
If you don't have someone in your life who will sit beside you and say "I've got you" then until that person comes, speak it to yourself.
Can you be tough enough to lean into doing the kindest thing for your body...which is sometimes napping or sometimes doing a HIIT workout?
Can you be tender enough to lay down your shame and tough enough to pursue one small success?
We all need fierce love to tenderly address our fears, doubts, fatigue, or shame so that we can tenaciously focus on our healing and growth.
What small action will you take and celebrate today that gives your body, heart, and mind fierce love and kindness?
If you aren't sure what you need, then try this 6-minute Self Compassion Break I recorded just for you.
Or, maybe just try these 3 Simple Movement Practices (jump to minute 4 if you don't want to listen to my schpeel at the beginning) that help you move with intention to receive love in your body:)
While I am doing the deep work of reclaiming my own strength, I am reminded of how much I desire deep strength for all of you. I am working on some new online and IN-PERSON special offerings that will be coming soon.
Until then, try a little tough and a little tender for your wellness.